No Parking

I know that last time I said I was reviewing a "Different" campaign, and that was true. It's atmosphere and mystery was unlike any other I've played. Well, now I'm saying it again, and this time it's even more true.

Author: Lou Saffire

No Parking

Now, for those of you who didn't think that One 4 Nine was quite different enough, well, this one is. You see, the campaign is one map long. Yeah, one. At its bare bones, it's just one, massive, extended finale where you go toe to toe with a pissed off, cola addicted redneck.

Yeah. A redneck.

Doesn't sound scary? Well, wait until you get a look at him before you make your judgement...

"HONK HONK MOTHERFUCKERS."

You see, this is Whitaker. You remember him, don't you? Oh, you don't? Well, he's the crazy guy with the cola addiction who owned the gun store in Dead Center.

Yeah. He's back.

Playing as the original group of survivors once more, you stumble into a parking garage in search of weapons just before The Sacrifice takes place. Yes, another mod about them before The Sacrifice. If you're keeping track then this one would be not long after Redemption.

Anywho, because the survivors always throw their guns away at the end of each campaign, they need to find another pile of guns to use for half an hour before discarding them as well. Which is when they stumble upon Whitaker and his stash of guns.

After peaceful negotiations by Ambassador Francis go south you are tasked with killing Whitaker before he kills you. And, as is subtly implied by the two ton death machine he can be seen riding around in, it isn't quite what you would call easy. To defeat Whitaker you have to complete a series of objectives around the parking garage while he shoots at you, attempts to run you down in his van, and honks the horn to attract the horde. Yes, there are zombies in the mix too. Even specials. Remember when I said it was basically one huge finale?

The steps to defeating him, considering the circumstances of the fight, aren't easy to complete. What is easy however is getting shot, or sliced up, or run down by his van or beaten to death after having all of the above happen to you. This is very much a map designed around actual HUMAN players, not bots.

Eventually you defeat him, and guess what? Now he says he's sorry. All he wants is some cola and he's willing to call things even between you guys. He'll even forgive you for the guns you stole.

"You dick, you tried to kill us."
"Shut up, Francis."

You actually have a choice here. Give him the cola and let bygones be bygones, water under the bridge, mirror in the past and all that? Go ahead. Or... leave him to die without his precious cola. Your call.

But apparently his cola addiction has turned into a full fledged fetish since Savannah, because that cola will determine your fate. Deny him his favorite of beverages and he summons the will to stave off death itself for the sole purpose of ending your miserable existence. Show mercy and provide him with his one true love in his time of need? He'll flip death the bird and join you in battle, all out of gratitude for providing him with what he lusts after most.

Either way, the second half of the map involves your standard "Hold the Line" finale, but your choice with Whitaker dictates whether he helps or hinders you during your escape. And as much as you might want to leave him to die after that first fight with him... damn does it feel good to have his wheeled death machine on YOUR side for once.

The choice even affects the ending of the mod and Whitaker's fate. He can go out in a heroic blaze of glory or succumb to his hatred and expire, before succumbing to the infection and becoming one of them. This map is short and sweet but for the unique experience it gives it's worth checking out. Boss fights in Left 4 Dead, oh man...

Go ahead and get this if you're looking for something new after your hundreds of hours in Left 4 Dead. Just put the difficulty on Easy if you can't find any friends, because Whitaker takes no prisoners.